Tattoo by Jeff Gogue
Photos by Dijana Szewczyk
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Why the tattoo? Okay here goes ... 📖
I grew up “sheltered”, feeling like I was not allowed to say, do, or want certain things. Even things like secular music (radio) were forbidden. (I’m grateful for my parents and the way they raised me. My mom has become one one my biggest fans on the planet. I only mention my childhood for context).
I spent a considerable amount of my teens and young adulthood saying “yes” to everyone and everything, hoping to find more love and approval. All those YESSES ....🥵...yes after yes after yes morphed into a raging little bulimia problem.
I married very young and that marriage became a valley of fear and frustration. And that’s all I’ll say about that, other than adding that as long as I was barefoot and pregnant and isolated from friends and family, things were peaceful. I stopped dreaming out loud about what I wanted to do with my life because it wasn’t worth the friction it caused.
So I came into my mid thirties aching to express myself and to reclaim my life with a vengeance.
One day I found the courage to leave the bad relationship. I learned to say no. No, sorry I can’t. No, I don’t have time. No thank you, nothankyounothankyounothankyou until I was spending my time doing things I wanted with whom I wanted. So of course I stopped puking my brains out and, not coincidentally, learned to love my body. I found a man who encourages my dreams and helps me build them.
The bodysuit represented taking back my life, finding my voice, and roaring from a mountain top.
I don’t think my story about losing a sense of myself is really all that unusual. Which is why I’m grateful it gave (gives) me a message for young women:
•Save up all your YESes for the right stuff.
•You’re beautiful as is.
•Pack your shit and get out if you need to.
•You’re the only person who needs to believe your dreams might come true.
I grew up “sheltered”, feeling like I was not allowed to say, do, or want certain things. Even things like secular music (radio) were forbidden. (I’m grateful for my parents and the way they raised me. My mom has become one one my biggest fans on the planet. I only mention my childhood for context).
I spent a considerable amount of my teens and young adulthood saying “yes” to everyone and everything, hoping to find more love and approval. All those YESSES ....🥵...yes after yes after yes morphed into a raging little bulimia problem.
I married very young and that marriage became a valley of fear and frustration. And that’s all I’ll say about that, other than adding that as long as I was barefoot and pregnant and isolated from friends and family, things were peaceful. I stopped dreaming out loud about what I wanted to do with my life because it wasn’t worth the friction it caused.
So I came into my mid thirties aching to express myself and to reclaim my life with a vengeance.
One day I found the courage to leave the bad relationship. I learned to say no. No, sorry I can’t. No, I don’t have time. No thank you, nothankyounothankyounothankyou until I was spending my time doing things I wanted with whom I wanted. So of course I stopped puking my brains out and, not coincidentally, learned to love my body. I found a man who encourages my dreams and helps me build them.
The bodysuit represented taking back my life, finding my voice, and roaring from a mountain top.
I don’t think my story about losing a sense of myself is really all that unusual. Which is why I’m grateful it gave (gives) me a message for young women:
•Save up all your YESes for the right stuff.
•You’re beautiful as is.
•Pack your shit and get out if you need to.
•You’re the only person who needs to believe your dreams might come true.
